The Power of Asking for Help
When was the last time you honestly asked for help—not a quick favour, but the kind of help that gets to the heart of what you're struggling with?
For as long as I can remember, I've [unconsciously] believed I had to do everything alone. I didn't often know what game the world was playing, and I thought everyone else must have insider knowledge that I was missing. This belief drove me to become "self-sufficient"—or so I thought—pouring everything into my work and striving to stay on top of every commitment and expectation.
I was so focused on "doing it myself" that I lost sight of my support system: my cheerleaders, mentors, and guides. But recently, I hit a ceiling that forced me to look more closely at this belief and do something I don't usually do—allow myself to be helped.
I was pouring myself out without refilling, and when my wheels eventually stopped turning, people around me started to chime in and say, "Let us help you." With a big breath in, I accepted the help needed to heal and be the best version of myself to continue doing what I love and learn to love myself in the process.
Accepting help is big. You're laying down your ego, admitting you can't do it all, and taking responsibility for your success. Being run by limiting beliefs only gets you so far. The tank runs out, and life begins to humble you.
Assembling a support network
One book that guided me in understanding support was The Greatness Principle by Jen Harwood. She explains that we have a support network filled with people who play different roles, like encouragers, challengers, and guides. Realising this helped me see that we're not meant to lean on one person for everything and that each person has a unique role in our lives.
If you've ever felt disappointed by a friend's response to something important, you may have sought specific support in the wrong place. So, if you're shopping at the wrong store for something you need, try building your very own Great 8.
The Great 8 Investors:
The Enthusiast: They see you with optimism. They brush all your faults aside and see all the great things about you. They're basically your biggest fan. Who in your life gives you energy?
The Sage: They know the real, authentic you behind the masks. They're usually a lifelong friend or family member. The Sage has wisdom for you. Who are you free to be yourself with?
The Motivator: They can cut through the small talk, get real, and get you to commit. They're your dreaded accountability who gets your wheels turning. Who kicks you up the butt when you need it?
The Bystander: This person is super curious about you. They're outside your usual circle but, for some reason, are genuinely interested in how you are, what you're doing, and how you're doing it. It's an information exchange, and the more you dive into the details of your life, the more they want to know. Who in your life gives you the gift of perspective?
The Anchor: This person has an unwavering belief in you. They see and expect your potential. They don't listen to your stories about how unworthy you think you are and how you think it can't be done. They're dead confident in your abilities. Less drama, more balance. Who in your life is most proud of you?
The Grounder: These people are grounded in reality. They say what needs to be said regardless of your feelings. They're sceptical of your wild ideas, plans, or actions. They remember your past failings and commitments you've not followed through on. They don't do this to be cruel; they just don't want you or anyone else to get hurt again. They're practical and will give you strategic and honest advice. Who in your life is focused on your results?
The Catalyst: This is the person you can't stand to be around, get bad vibes from, don't want in your life, or makes you clench your teeth. When you accept this person, you also receive what they incite and challenge in you. Anyone you strongly react to is serving you by showing you new learning and insights. It could be a boss, a co-worker, or even a friend's new partner. Do yourself a favour and learn the lesson so you can move on. You'll also be someone else's Catalyst just by being yourself. Who steps on your toes?
The Scholar: This person loves ideas and being creative with you. Your conversations come alive with ideas, strategies, and possibilities for your hopes and dreams. The Scholar engages their knowledge and intellect with you. They're actively thinking about you, your ideas, circumstances, and life. What a gift! They'll arm you to think about the outcomes of your ideas. They won't tell you which idea to choose but rather guide you as you discover it for yourself. Who is your loving strategist?
So, who are these people in your life?
If you've been thinking about reaching out for support but haven't known where to start, email me or leave a comment, and I'll give you a thoughtful answer and point you in the right direction. Don't let it pile up—asking for help is a strength and will relieve some pressure.
hello@christieburmester.com
“Isolation doesn't work.”
– Jen Harwood
